|
Insults and Sarcasms
· I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice.
· Does your train of thought have a caboose?
· I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house?
·
Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
· A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
· Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
·
Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
· I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
· Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me?
· If I throw a stick, will you leave?
· You!... Off my planet!
· Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
·
And which dwarf are you?
· If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats.
·
And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
· Do I look like a people person?
·
This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
· I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
· I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
· Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
· Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
· Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
· A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
· A PBS mind in an MTV world.
·
Allow me to introduce my selves.
· Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
·
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
· See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
·
It ain't the size, it's... no, it's the size.
· Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?
·
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
· Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.
·
Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
· Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
·
I plead contemporary insanity.
· How do I set a laser printer to stun?
·
Meandering to a different drummer.
· The difference between this company and a cactus plant is that the plant has pricks on the outside.
· May your daughters' hair grow thick, black, and abundant -- all over their faces.
·
May your children be so famous every policeman knows them.
· May the Fleas of a Thousand Camels infest one of your Erogenous Zones.
|
