E-mail Gil

Pets: I love pets of all kinds.  I currently have a cat who's name is Prowler.  She came to me in the last week of April, 2001.  She was a young stray, hadn't eaten in a week, or so it seemed.  My business partner, Bob, found her begging for food near his RV (since we lived 2 doors down from each other), and after a day or so, I decided to give her a chance.  Let her into mine, and she's been with me ever since.  After a week, I decided that I was actually going to keep her, took her to the vet and got her spayed and shot (well, the typical vaccination shots), as well as <gulp> declawed, as she definitely wanted to scratch stuff.  And here she will stay unless I fall in love and the woman that I fall for has an aversion to cats (that might be a minus point...except for allergies).  In 1984, I owned my very first pet...a dog.  She was a shetland sheepdog (Sheltie) named "Tiffany" which I got from my friends, Bill and Debbie Burgess living out in Hemet, California.  I had to get rid of her when I moved from Phoenix to San Diego in 1986 into an apartment that didn't allow dogs.  I found a great home for her with a family that already had Shelties.  After I moved back to the Phoenix area a couple of years later, I got my very first cat...a tortoiseshell colored kitty that I named, "Newt," with a little help from my friend, Gene.  In fact, him and his now ex-wife Jan are who I got the cat from in the first place.  Since then, I've owned a number of cats, one of my favorites being, Skittles.  Skittles was a BLACK cat...a very large neutered male.  I got him when his whole body, including tail, would fit into my hand.  I had him for about 5 1/2 years...until I went on vacation in 2000.  Seems like I decided to let my sister baby-sit him, and he escaped from her apartment.  That year, I lost a potential girlfriend and a cat all in the same vacation.  I spent 3 weeks out of town and my whole world seemed like it fell apart.  I had a great time while I was gone, but later had to face the consequences.  Such is life.  Incidentally, if you're wondering how I would have ever named a black cat, "Skittles," it was because a Skittles candy commercial was playing on TV while I was trying to decide on a name for him...and I said, "That's IT!!!" 

Ex-Relationships:  My serious relationships didn't actually start until I was about 21.  In fact, the first serious relationship I had (it was the one in which I lost my virginity) was with my first wife, Lettie.  It seems that we'd moved around so much when I was a kid, I never actually was able to get a teen romance started.  I did have a crush on one girl in high school named, Diane Bynum, back in San Jacinto, California.  I think that could have blossomed into something, since she did seem to take quite a liking to me, as well.  But it was never to be.  After Lettie and I were divorced in 1979, a couple of years later, I had a brief relationship with a girl named Becky.  I don't know why we ever broke up, but we did.  I think it was a matter of pride with me.  I'd called her at work one day and I think she thought it was someone else who called and she hung up on me.  I got upset and wouldn't speak to her after that.  I should have asked her what had happened, but I was young and stupid.  She later asked one of my friends why I wouldn't talk to her.  They told her why ('cause I told them) and I guess she'd figured out that she'd lost me.  She might have made a good mate, but again, I was young and stupid.

My next real relationship was Kathy, who I later married.  I don't know why I did that.  I'd never truly fallen in love with her.  I was living in Hemet, California in 1983, met her when I was working for Circle K.  After getting to know her a bit, I decided to move back to Phoenix (I've moved from there a number of times)...it was both for better opportunity, and to get away from Kathy.  I thought she was a little strange, but I kinda liked her.  She asked if she could go with me.  For some reason I said that she could.  Never intended to marry her, but after living together for a while, we just decided to tie the knot.  Turned out that my original feelings were right...she was weird.  She'd been in and out of mental hospitals for a good part of her adult life.  After a year or so, she was right back to where she'd started from.  In about 10 years that we were married, she'd left me 4 times.  And she didn't even know why.  She'd had sex with all of my friends, so I found out after our divorce.  How odd.

In 1996, I was living in Rockingham, North Carolina.  I met Marcie though some friends (and her family). Didn't think too much about her, since she was only 18 and I was 42. Her brother-in-law and sister encouraged us going out together, however. Though I wasn't comfortable with our age difference, we did manage to fall for each other.  I thought I'd found Ms. Right.  We had a lot of the same likes and dislikes. We liked similar foods, she even liked the same kinds of music I liked.  Another bad relationship.  At one point, her family and I had a falling out over a cash loan I decided not to make to them, and they changed their minds completely about me. They felt I was too old for her (they later tried to set her up with a 38 year old guy with 2 kids!). Marcie didn't know what to do, so I made the decision for her. In retrospect, the relationship was totally inappropriate, but it's hard to see things from the outside when you're so deeply involved. After listening to Dr. Laura on the radio a few times, I came to realize that I should never have gotten into a relationship like that in the first place. All part of growing up.

I do have some female friends right now. Melinda, whom I've known for 21 years, lives here in Albuquerque with her ex-husband, Ed (another one of those unusual stories). Carol, who lives in Phoenix (in fact, Gene's sister).  Unfortunately, long-distance romances don't work that well, so I consider her a friend. She's really like a sister, rather than a romantic relationship. Sandra lives in Albuquerque, as well.  We got pretty close a couple of years ago, but for a few reasons, never really clicked.  She's looking for someone who will give her a 3 carat diamond wedding ring, and she wants to have someone support her. Really, I think she's looking for someone who goes to church. I can't lie to people like that. But we've remained friends, at any rate. And finally, Joy, a potential mate. We met on eHarmony in 2005, she came out here in 2006, we rented an apartment together for a year, then decided to separate. But we're still good friends.

I've nearly gotten involved in a few other relationships, but nothing that was serious enough to be mentioned. But Ms. Right is out there. Just have to find her. I'm not perfect, everyone has problems, but I leave my baggage on the train, and try not to drag it around.